


Coffee beans don't make good chocolate

by Ayam_Cemani



Category: Heaven's Official Blessing, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Bottom!Hua Cheng, Clothed Sex, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Minimal Lube, Top Xiè Lián, Valentine's Day Gift, brief mentions of xie lian's crimes against cooking, cross dressing, slightly rough sex, the gods discover coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:26:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayam_Cemani/pseuds/Ayam_Cemani
Summary: He’s frozen. As much a statue as any of the stone crown princes from the cave of ten thousand gods. Just from the knowing: There’s nothing underneath that dress.Hua Cheng shifts again, tossing a hand back onto the pillows as if in a faint.“I heard Gege was very busy this week. All the rumors I heard about a brand new day, all for showering Gege with the affection he deserves.” He pouts.
Relationships: Huā Chéng/Xiè Lián
Comments: 10
Kudos: 173





	Coffee beans don't make good chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHAT IT'S ME- BACK ON MY SMUTTY BULLSHIT. if only cause there's not there's not enough bottom hua cheng in this fandom let's face it. Anyway this fic was loosely based on/inspired by some amazing artwork by the lovely [Lucrezia](https://twitter.com/ruri_lulli/status/1228421214932209665?s=19) on twitter. Be sure to give her a shout out and a thank you for the art!
> 
> Edit: so for some reason I can't get the link to actually work, so Imma just past the code for it [ https://twitter.com/ruri_lulli/status/1228421214932209665?s=19 ] copy/paste into your browser and enjoy!
> 
> Edit 2: p7q Hi my name is "I'm a fucking dumbass because I forgot that coffee beans are not EAST of china they're WEST of china and I'm real fucking ashamed of myself for such a basic mistake". -takes two shots of whiskey- IT'S BEEN FIXED

Many new things had been imported from the west recently. Of them had been a brand new holiday, some ‘saint valentine’s day’. Xie Lian wasn’t entirely certain what this saint had done, but the people had become quite taken with his powers over the realm of romance and were celebrating with all they had- much like their own Qixi festival. Any excuse to celebrate really. Resulting in a difficult week for practically every god as the prayers for good luck overwhelmed the temples of anyone who had any association to love or romance. Pei Ming, of course, had gotten hit the worst of it, and he watched with some concern by the way he was laying on the ground like a limp fish. 

“Your highness need not worry.” Ling Wen said. She was currently aiding Pei Ming by pouring some hot bean drink, not tea, but another western import, down his throat. The very same potion Ling Wen herself had been consuming practically by the bucket load. “Pei Ming has suffered worse wounds than new holiday traditions.”

“I’m sure he will be. It’s just,” How should he word this delicately?

“Maybe you should be more worried about that ghost king of your eh?” Pei Ming was grinning, somewhat revitalized, from his position on the ground. Xie Lian resisted the urge to kick him. At least he didn’t blush so easily at his teasing these days.

“This holiday was about spending time with one’s romantic partners.” Ling Wen took a sip of the last of the drink.

Oh no, now they were ganging up on him again! 

“I had prayers too! Being one of the few gods with a confirmed marriage you know.” 

“Prayers are winding down your highness. Plenty of time for you to spend some time with your husband.” Pei Ming waggled his eyebrows.

“And we don’t want him kicking down the doors to come see you either.” 

Xie Lian sighs. Unfortunately, they’re both correct. Besides, as grateful as he is to have the love of the people again, he does miss his San Lang when their respective duties pull them apart. He just wished these people wouldn’t be so smug about it.

“Very well. I’ll leave the two of you to your work then.”

The three gods bid each other goodbye. Ling Wen dumping the last of the grounds on Pei Ming’s sputtering face, Xie Lian patting his shoulder in sympathy and swearing that new love gods would be chosen soon if this was to keep up. 

As he made his way out, he took two steps back and snatched a small packet of these ‘coffee beans’. Both coffee and chocolate were made out of these beans, if he remembered correctly. Perhaps he could make something out of them for Hua Cheng.

Xie Lian lands easily just outside paradise manor, tucks Hua Cheng’s dice (well, technically they’re his, and have been for centuries, but still) back into his robes, and eagerly ducks inside. He’s about to call out for his husband when a thought occurs to him, causing the words to die on his tongue.

Valentine’s day was about appreciation and affection correct? He glances down at the small sack of beans and grimaces. He probably should have picked up something besides a half assed last minute gift- failing that he should at least cook them first right? Hua Cheng might gladly take what gifts he offers, as always making a huge production over his fondness for whatever said gift was, but Xie Lian still always wants to give the best he can.

So instead of calling out for his husband, Xie Lian scurries into the kitchen and tries to quietly gather the pots and other various items he needs to make this coffee. Realizing about halfway through he’s not certain how to make it, but makes his best guess from having seen the crushed beans and boiling water from before.

Steam is rising from the water and he’s only just poured the ground up beans- along with some other ingredients from hua cheng’s favorite teas just in case- when the sound of light tinkling approaches. To most, it’s a sound that inspires the worst of terrors. To Xie Lian, a barely contained smile spreads on his face and he has to force himself to pay attention to the water lest he burn himself. 

“I’m in the kitchen San Lang!” Xie Lian calls out. More than a little needlessly, but there’s a certain pleasure in calling out things like that. ‘I’m home’, ‘here I am’, always knowing that Hua Cheng will come looking for him.

“Gege~” Hua Cheng’s voice washes over him and unconsciously he can’t help but relax. He can’t leave the stove, but he glances back towards the door, and blinks curiously. For some reason, Hua Cheng was remaining outside? Only his head, hair falling over his eye patch, a mischievous smile on his face, was currently in view.

“Gege~” Hua Cheng’s voice washes over him, and unconsciously he can’t help but relax his shoulders and lift his elbows out. “Are you making dinner?” 

Xie Lian blinks, confused. There’s no arms around his waist, no footsteps coming closer. He can’t leave the stove, so he turns towards the door to see what’s going on. 

“Well, no but, San Lang? Is something wrong?”

“Not at all!” He says that, but he’s being… odd. For some reason, Hua Cheng’s only poked his head inside the door. Hair falling over his eyepatch and a mischievous smile on his face. One that grows wider, when they make eye contact. One that makes Xie Lian’s heart skips a beat. 

“Gege didn’t answer my question~”

“What question?”

“Is that dinner for us?”

“Ah, no. It’s,” He holds up some of the grounds. “This is called ‘coffee’. Many mortals have been leaving it as an offering lately. Ling Wen and some of the others have been almost living off it the past week.”

“Hmmmm,” Hua Cheng rolls the sound off his tongue. “Well, if it’s Gege making it. I suppose I can try whatever crap has their attention this time.” 

Xie Lian chuckles and shakes his head. Though the laughter dies again quickly at seeing how Hua Cheng remains just outside. It’s strange because normally he’d take the first opportunity he got to come wrap his arms around Xie Lian’s waist while cooking. Nuzzle into his neck with warm kisses, slide his hands to places he shouldn’t-

Clearing his throat, Xie Lian asks again, “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Very much so.” Hua Cheng’s eye twinkles with barely suppressed mirth and heat. “Although, if Gege would like to come check me personally…” Cheerful twinkling from silver chains drift down the hallway as the promise in his words lingers behind. 

Xie Lian stumbles to set the coffee aside, nearly spilling it in his haste to make sure nothing would burn, and- he would maintain that he did not run- down the hall after him.

They don’t go far. It’s a short walk down the halls to their shared bedroom. Even so, Hua Cheng manages to shut the door behind him before Xie Lian can see whatever little surprise is in store. And he can’t help but huff a fond breath as he gathers up his wits and pushes the door open. The sight that greets him, however, causes a wave of lust so strong he sways in place.

Hua Cheng is laying back on their bed, surrounded by a nest of soft red pillows, smugness rolling off his chosen form. That alone would be enough, except today he’s chosen an elegant red dress. One that splays open in a diamond shape across his chest, and cuts long slits up his sides over long completely bare legs- no, wait. Silver chains coil around his ankles. One wraps enticingly around a thigh. More chains, accompanied by darling butterfly clips hang from his neck, around his arms, and one on each wrist. They make eye contact and Xie Lian notes through his haze that there’s even a new beautifully red eye patch, dripping with more silver. 

“San Lang y-you look...” Xie Lian swallows thickly and tries to find the words to tell him how beautiful he is.

Xie Lian’s eye snap to the move of red painted toenails dragging across the sheets. A pale knee lifts, exposing pale thighs simply begging for handprints and bite marks to decorate them. The cloth falling over where Xie Lian desperately wants to see the most- Right between his legs. Outlining his already hardened cock.

He’s frozen. As much a statue as any of the stone crown princes from the cave of ten thousand gods. Just from the knowing: There’s nothing underneath that dress.

Hua Cheng shifts again, tossing a hand back onto the pillows as if in a faint.

“I heard Gege was very busy this week. All the rumors I heard about a brand new day, all for showering Gege with the affection he deserves.” He pouts. The other hand, unoccupied with dramatics, trails down the dress, casually flicks the dress aside and oh fuck is that another chain around his-

“I waited for so long for Gege to come back.” That hand strokes over himself with the barest of touches, making his hips jerk into the touch. Though he quickly forces his hips back down and instead moves his hand under his ass. Sliding down further and spreading his legs wide.

“I had to spend the day all alone. With only the hopes of my Gege coming back to me.” Xie Lian sways forward as two of Hua Cheng’s fingers trace the red and puffy skin of his entrance. Smearing trails of slick around and- both men groan when Hua Cheng slams them inside. 

“Gege,” Hua Cheng purrs, “Come here.”

Xie Lian’s helpless but to stumble his way forward. Grasping at a thin ankle as he settles onto the bed.

A kiss is pressed where the chains don’t cover the side of his foot. Or the knot of his ankle. Or his tendon as it flexes with every sharp thrust Hua Cheng’s fingers make.

“How long,” Xie Lian can barely get the words out through how turned on he is. “Dressed like, like this?”

“Since yesterday.” Hua Cheng moans and drapes his leg over Xie Lian’s shoulder. “Wanted to be ready when- Haa, you came back.”

“Yeah? I apologize to San Lang for leaving him alone for so long.” Xie Lian grabs his husband’s wrist and tugs. Ignoring his pleading little keens, instead pining it to the bed. 

“Gege please!” It’s mesmerizing, the way the red silk shifts and creases over Hua Cheng’s squirming form. “I missed you! Please don’t make your San Lang wait anymore!”

He’s leaking all over that pretty red dress.

Something snaps inside Xie Lian and he almost tears off his own clothes in his haste. The outer robes are thrown to the floor (and he silently apologizes to them and promises a clean later), but he doesn’t bother with the pants, just shoves them out of the way and grabs Hua Cheng’s hips. Moaning as he presses the tip against his rim, rocking slowly and savoring the feel the way it just barely resists the stretch still.

“Oil, oil, need-” Xie Lian pants as he shows just enough restraint not to slam into Hua Cheng’s body. 

“No!” Hus Cheng arches in his hold. Trying to press himself down onto Xie Lian’s cock. “Just like this!” 

His pleas make Xie Lian’s ears burn, but who was he to deny his San lang? He presses in slow. It has to _burn_ , but still there’s only pleas for more. Hua Cheng is jerking back onto his torturously slow thrusts, trying to take in as much as he can with the bruising hold on his hips. Xie Lian holds onto his sanity, still watching the filthy almost dance of the body below him. Watching the way Hua Cheng’s face twists with need. The way his back arches and his head is thrown back when Xie Lian stops holding back and buries himself inside fully. Xie lian pauses then, leaning over to kiss at Hua Cheng’s gasping mouth. Whispering how much he loved San Lang, how beautiful he is. Finally, finally, he begins to move.

Xie Lian groans as Hua Cheng’s body clenches around him, not wanting to let him go for even a second. The heat of it, the tightness, drives him higher and to making sharp deep thrusts against a spot that makes his beloved scream.

He’s close- so fucking close. But there’s enough presence of mind for him to reach out and wrap a hand around his needy, leaking cock. Hua Cheng wails beneath him. Tearing at the sheets as cum paints his dress and hips white.

Xie Lian groans at the sight and yanks him up, sitting him more fully on his cock and chasing his own end inside Hua Cheng’s still convulsing body. 

The world goes hazy when he cums, it’s all heat and sensations as they rock together until they collapse back against the bed. 

It takes a few seconds before Xie Lian is able to catch his breath. Put his brain back together and to try to pull out- but he’s quickly caught by hua cheng’s legs and drawn closer again. 

“Dianxia~” Is purred into his ear, and Xie Lian chuckles tiredly at the cute little pecks he gets on said ear and down his cheek.

“San Lang, let me roll us over at least?”

There’s only some mild huffing, but it’s allowed. Especially when Hua Cheng delightedly discovers he’s being tucked into Xie lian’s side. Giving him ample time and the perfect angle for nuzzling into his neck.

“Did Dianxia like his present?” Smug little brat, Xie Lian thinks fondly and presses a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“Of course. I’ll try not to leave you waiting so long next year.”

**Author's Note:**

> -fingerguns- thanks for reading folks. Hopefully it won't take me or Xie Lian so long for next year's V-day for the good stuff.


End file.
